(Adam: Yay! Papa another newspaper is here. Let's have some fun.)
Forget ASTRO, Star Movies, HBO...there's much better entertainment delivered right to your doorstep every morning. That's right I am talking about Malaysian newspapers. Best la I tell you. Just today in The Star...
Melodrama...on the front page the headline screamed "PM: We must make it", "Failure is not an option. Our only choice is to succeed." Pak Lah was addressing the audience at the mammoth UMNO 60th birhday party held at Istana Besar in Johor. So what is so funny, you ask. Well, nothing in those words. Very serious indeed. But then later on in the same story Pak Lah is quoted as saying to his audience that "...if the Malays fail to achieve the status of developed race, it would be embarassing." I find Pak Lah's use of the word "embarassing" totally inappropriate and very funny. Unless the reporter got it wrong. "Embarassing" when you are talking about life and death issues? Okay lah. maybe some of you are saying that I am making a mountain out of a molehill la. Sure makes you want to think about using the right words to get your point across the next time you want to say something isneet? The tragic part of this story is that while mountains of print has been used to drive Malays into becoming a developed race I think somebody forgot to inform the pak cik and mak cik and their anak-anak just what the hell that means. Developed race? But I thought we are okay what. Oh you mean we should work hard, make lots of money, get into politics maybe, import some timber, make more money. But then can I still make the toilet floors wet, put my cucu on the toilet wash basin and ask him to piss into it because all the urinals are being used, spit out of my car window, throw rubbish anywhere I like, talk loudly on my handphone in the cinema? Huh? You also don't know ah? Then what is the meaning this developed race? Needs work, Pak Lah.
The Star today (Saturday May 13, 2006) reports that the Jasin fler is a director of a company that was fined by Customs for trying to smuggle VCD's to Indonesia 7 years ago. Ever ready with an answer the fler said that the VCD's didn't belong to his company and added that his company was only the forwarding agent. I wonder how many eyes he asked the Customs to close that time? VCD's? I think one eye enough lah.
And some more lah.
I found this excerpt from Tun Mahathir's DVD rant quite appropriate for this Jasin fler's case. See what you think.
"When we want to change the Malays, we look at the history of the Malays. We have values that are not conducive to success. We don't give value to the sense of shame, for example.
Of course, if you take off your clothing, you'll feel malu (shame). When you fail in something, you should feel ashamed. If you study something and you don't succeed, you should feel ashamed. But, some people say, 'I failed the exam, seronok pula (happy too)'. There is no sense of shame. We have to build a sense of shame so that when you have a strong sense of shame, you will strive not to feel a sense of shame and when you undertake to do something, you do it well. If you do business, you must succeed in business. You must do the right things. You mustn't cheat and things like that. We must try get these New Malays to have this sense of shame."
Maybe he is not ashamed because he hasn't really failed yet has he? Well, up to now his only shortcoming was that he was found out.
Mystery-thriller...on page N6 the headline was "Jasin MP must explain actions". The Prime Minister was quoted as saying, "We have to ascertain what had happened because he already said he was willing to be investigated. We cannot simply take action just like that." Yippee! Yes we are very happy that he is willing to be investigated. But I think there are people who may have lost the point here. Sure I believe that he should be given his day to explain the reasons for his actions and whether they were criminal or not. But this man, an elected Member of Parliament had openly lied to the country and openly and arrogantly admitted that he lied. In my book that is ground enough for action to be taken against him. You are a public servant you told a blatant lie and you insult your fellow countrymen by daring them to prove you are wrong? What happened to HONOUR? Or is that not a prerequisite for being a Member of the Malaysian Parliament? Or simply being a good Malaysian?
Horror...on page N18 of The Star today we learned that from next year cosmetics which do not carry a halal certificate will not be allowed into the country. This idea (again something that does not sound like it's been properly thought through) was announced by the director-general of the Malaysian Islamic Development Department (JAKIM). I think you can imagine for yourself what effect that banning action will have on Malaysia's cosmetics industry and the thousands of Malaysian who work in it. By all means talk to the L'Oreal's, the MAC's, the Revlon's and the Maybelline's about making a halal range specially for Muslim consumers. But in the meantime just label non-halal cosmetics as such so that Muslims will not unwittingly use frog DNA mixed with fruits on their skin. But no. In true Malaysian fashion we ban first. I am suspecting that some MP may be building some factory somewhere to churn out a range of Halal cosmetics very soon. Anyone got shares in Zaitun ah? Better buy some more. Good times ahead. Tanpa was-was somemore.
Actually, as a patriotic Chinese Malaysian I am really scared by all the recent talk about Halal this and that.
First, it started with the news of the increase in the price for pork. The reason for that apparently is the declining number of pig farms in the country. Some of these were found to be polluting rivers and our water supplies and were closed by state governments. With no plans at all of solving the basic problem of these farms which is proper location, maintenance and adherence to rules and regulations. Just close them down. Why worry? We don't eat pork what. My old memory isn't what it used to be but didn't I remember that we are Malaysia and we are always "tolerant" and we live in "harmony" with all the races? So sure, Halal is a big deal for our Muslim brethren. But pork is part of Chinese cuisine and culture isn't it? Speaking of which, I always find it really strange and tragic that at big festivals we happily serve halal food on the buffet table but don't give a shit about serving beef rendang knowing very well that there are Hindu guests present. One Malay friend told me that Hindu's do not mind seeing beef on the table they just won't eat it. But some Muslims cannot even stand the sight of pork or being near anything that might have been tainted by those cursed animals. Oh I see. That's alright then. Thank you.
Okay okay, sorry for taking a slight detour la. After that pork thing came a big international expo or something focussed on Halal food industries. Don't know the details of that but I did see our Deputy Prime Minister on TV walking around the expo and tasting some of the halal exhibits. I think I even saw him smacking his lips after visiting what must have been a delicious exhibit. And then today the halal cosmetics thing.
I am really scared la. After Malaysia become a totally halal country then how? I don't think I can permanently abstain from bak kut teh and Hokkein mee will not taste the same fried with palm oil instead of lard and without the pork crackling bits. What will my mother and father in the big Malaysia in the sky say when I make offerings to them next Cheng Beng without their favorite roast pork on their ancestral altar? And somemore my mother prayed to Kwan Yin and would never touch beef and my father didn't like chicken that much. I never did get used to beef bacon with my breakfast eggs or those awful sandwiches served by 5-star hotels using Turkey ham. And I mean what the fuck is turkey ham. Ham is pig not turkey and bacon is swine not bull. So if these flers want to be halal they should just say beef and turkey. I think these flers with their fancy menu's are just trying to piss us pork eaters off. They sure succeeded. With me anyway.
Guess what? Typing this I didn't realise that it was past midnight. Yay! Another newspaper will be at the door step in a few hours. I don't know if I can take this much entertainment on a daily basis.