Friday, May 26, 2006

Nation-wide Insanity?

(Adam: Wake me when this nightmare is over.)

I opened the paper (The Star) today and when I got to page N12 I almost fell off my chair from shock and horror. There it was...

ACA plans unit to produce dramas”.

What the F**K!!! The Anti Corruption Agency is now an entertainment production company as well??? Apparently, the ACA is planning to produce advertising materials and docu-dramas based on cases that it has investigated. What were they thinking when they decided on this course of action? Are they really that free to do this? Is there really nothing they can investigate? Are they proving to us all that they are indeed puppets dancing on a string? Maybe it’s those requests from M.P.’s to close one eye that’s driven the ACA out of its original business and into the entertainment arena. But seriously folks…ACA producing advertising? ACA producing TV dramas? And the ACA is doing these things in collaboration with a private company? Hmmm…who is going to investigate the ACA here?

If you read the newspaper story about this insanity yourself you will discover that the ACA is merely announcing this to the public today. Sorry la we don’t need your opinion on our decision to become the next cartoon network. Our first production is going to air on RTM1 next Monday already. At the ‘prime’ hour of 2 p.m.!!!

So they’d been planning to do this shit as a public funded agency for quite some time then. Cases that obviously need lots of ACA investigation time are popping up almost on a daily basis and these guys are playing at being television producers?

And in typical Bolehland tradition they also announced in the same newspaper story, “…a working paper on job positions has already been presented to the Public Services Department…”. A working paper on job positions??? What the F**K is that???

Did that sound like it meant “Hmmm…let’s see who gets to wear an eye patch, knee-high boots and play director? Who will get the fat cigar and fancy car and play producer? Best of all, who will get the casting couch moved into his office?”

Has this country gone insane?

No, no…it’s just some dumb morons we got elected or appointed into the system. Whew! Just felt a chill down my spine.

And now…be afraid…be very afraid. On page N27 there is evidence that the Jasin fellow might have started another Bolehland trait. That of thumbing your nose at all and sundry.

A Penang municipal councillor was stripped of his post because he was declared a bankrupt. Now this man has come out and said that his bankrupt status was merely “a technical error”. He added that the High Court has reinstated his stay of execution pending an appeal to set aside the bankruptcy order. This man also claimed that he had “…no reason to resign from any post…” He also claimed that “The stay of execution meant instant clearance…” Meaning that he is innocent of all charges.

But you don’t need to be a lawyer or even a distinction in English 101 to think that a ‘stay of execution’, in plain simple English, means that you have been found GUILTY. And they are not hanging you yet because there may be some other stuff coming up that MAYBE will prove that you are not guilty. But for the time being you ARE guilty. Get it?

But getting back to my point…what’s happened to shame and humility and accountability in this country?

I would imagine that being a people’s rep, this bloke would have said, “Look I’m sorry people. This is all a misunderstanding. I will go clear it all up and inform you accordingly because you have a right to know. In the meantime, I shall step down so as not to cause any further confusion.”

But no. What’s he done, like that Jasin fler, is say to everyone, “So what?”

“I see no reason to resign from any post.”

I wonder if this guy is going to get to meet BOTH the Prime Minister and the Deputy Prime Minister over this one. The Jasin guy did. And according to the newspaper reports and his apparent high spirits after his meeting with the Cabinet panel set up to investigate his alleged wrongdoing he must have been given a slap on the wrist and told to take off his eye patch and open both eyes next time before opening his mouth.

Okay, this new Bolehland trait I mentioned above comes along with a sound and a gesture. Want to learn? You need a mirror to practise.

Here’s what you do…

Turn down both corners of your mouth.
Flare your nostrils as big as they will go.
Glare at the person in front of you.
Now lift one corner of your mouth in a snarl.
Look the other person straight in the eye and say, “So what?”

Too difficult? Then go here and practise saying…Niamah!!!


Anonymous said...

Niamah. Sek mong chor ah?

bongkersz said...

KNN. everyday read this kind of news, patrick, i guess the tanjung rambutan and other mental institution will be fully occupied/over capacity soon... :D really 'jia ba bo tai ji' these people. ACA maybe want to have their own series like 'Gerak Khas' (Gerak Khas so so so tak boleh tengok). Argh! Insanity clouding Malaysia!

Anonymous said...


It seems as though the country has an obligation to accomodate sub-standard politicians and leaders. Are all leaders in this country turning into Datuk Semi-Values? Or is it a criteria deeply and secretly embedded within our fucked-up system that requires a person to have bad morals, questionable honour and less-than-perfect values before they can be elected as a so called "leader"?

And to what extend does a movie or documentary help the cause of the ACA? Maybe it is to advertise the achievements of the ACA and let the public know, "Hey! Look at what we accomplished. Please clap your hands and approve of our ways and make our budget grow bigger"? Or are they just jealous of the sophisticated,enigmatic reputation of the HK ICAC?

Correct me if I'm wrong, for I am only an ignorant twenty yearold Malaysian Chinese, but isnt the ACA forbidden, or discouraged to have dealings with a private company? Wouldnt it affect their integrity? If all this involves money, Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? - Who are the guards of the guardians?

Patrick, sir, the politics of this country confuses me. Where do I go for answers? And when I the answers, where can I get the resources to start a revolution? :p

Ah Liong said...

I tot they should not do some Drama -- but yet some Reality Show ....

Survivor - 49 days, 1 Survivor ... see who would last to not take corruption

Some more the Parlimen should do:-

The Apprentice - The winner would be a MP for a term. Donald trump post -- let Tun do it laa.... since he had been at it soo long (like trump horr)

Fear Factor ?? still no idea oh...

Ann said...

THIS is how public money is spent? I'm guessing (wild guess, of course) that the pols and cops and are going to be depicted as whiter-than-white in Bolehland's entry to the Oscars.

Why is it that when I think the powers-that-be in Bolehland can't sink any lower, they always surprise me?

Trashed said...

Baarger, I osso get so fed up with these politicians and local gamen.

We, the rakyat, put them there. So, we, the rakyat should vote wisely next time. Problem is that some people haven't registered to vote & some people's vote can be bought, so how lah to change gamen ?

See, the people in Sarawak quite sharp. Tak boleh tahan anymore, so they vote to have a louder voice and put more opposition in. But still tak cukup, lah. We all should seriously think whether change is good. Some time ago, the so-called majority parties in India and Japan thought they were unbeatable and so became very LS. Now, the Congress Party and LDP very humble.

If you live in PJ or Subang Jaya, the MPPJ/MPSJ very sly one. Pay annual assessment but never show accounts, etc. Very mumbo jumbo.

We should elect representatives to these councils instead of the govt appointing them. They do not seem to be working for the benefit of the residents.

It just seems that these people have no integrity and accountability. If they were employees in a corporation, sure they would have failed in their annual assessment.

But it is up to we, the rakyat, to do something about this. These politicians and local gamen are taking us for a ride and I don't like it. Ptui !

TheDramaKing said...

Let the good times roll!
Other Gov depts/Ministries/GLCs will follow suit with their own drama productions:

PS. Dept: 'Reality Live Talkshow Amongst Staff with Real-live Audience(the queueing Public)'
MPPJ: 'What We Do With Your Assestment Fees While You're Sleeping'
JPPJ: 'Pass The Buck, Quick!'
MPAJ: 'Korruption R' Us' & 'The Other Notorious Ks(Kudus & Kayveas)'
Parliament Dept: 'Close One Eye' & 'The Untouchables'
Puspakom: 'Deals on Wheels'
TNB: 'Zappin' the Nation to New Heights(with Hikes!)'
Customs Dept: 'How To Own a Luxury Car for 1RM'
Public Works Dept: 'Bringing the Safari Experience To Malaysians'
Waterworks Dept: 'Yello Smello!'
DBKL: 'Holding Hands is Bad for Hygiene!'
Min. of Int. Trade & Finance: 'If Gawd Wants HER to Stray, SHE Strays!'
Min. of Housing & Development: 'Slab On You'
Local Councils: 'Mobsters & Lobsters'
JAKIM: 'Snoop That Bush!'
ACA: 'Much To-do About Nothing'
Min. of Education: 'The Malaysia Shuffle'
PM's Dept: 'Just Smile & Look Like You Know Something'
Pos Malaysia: 'The Vanishing Mails'
Local Land Office: 'All Your Lease Are Ours'
NRD: 'Haw to Spell DAT Name?'
Min. of Env: 'Fog You'
MAS: 'The Flight of the CON-men'
PROTON: '1001 Usage of recycled MILO Cans'
NAZA: 'Aae Pee Pee, Yeah You Know Me...'

C'mon peeps, let your creativity flow, You never know they're actually getting hints from here.

Aaron Tan said...


ACA: kami akan charge you dengan kesalahan merasuah!!

Pesalah: ok..tapi charge sini lah..kasi settle sini..

ACA: apa macam settle?

Pesalah: berapa lu mau??


Pesalah pun jadi tak bersalah.


patrickteoh said...

Good one, Trashed. The people of Sarawak has proven once and for all that the power is in the hands of the people. It always has been. It's just that a lot of us have forgotten how to use it. Perhaps the new administration was put there by a Higher Power to help us regain our power or at least recognise it.

Ah liong's suggestion for a reality show for local government is actually quite good. Tun Mahathir as the 'boss' is a great idea. RTM you listening?

Anonymous said, "...the politics of this country confuses me. Where do I go for answers? And when I the answers, where can I get the resources to start a revolution?" Where are the answers? I guess they are inside of you. Talk about what makes you unhappy as a citizen of Malaysia. Tell your friends, your family. Anyone who will listen. Write to your MP, local councillor. Register to vote in the next general election. There's your revolution right there.

bongkersz said...

"Min. of Housing & Development: 'Slab On You'"

lol lol lol.. rotfl

C-Fu said...

malan patrick i wan niamah dont tokkok la!!!!!!!

Aswad said...

Patrick wouldnt it be ironic is you and the gang ends up being the main actors for ACA produced dramas hehehe...aiyah I really missed all those TV Pendidikan lah.
Why they cancelled la TV Pendidikan ar Patrick? why? why?

BabyBear said...

TV Pendidikan, eh? Don't give up hope yet. We may yet see its revival...ACA
may be working on some plans even as I write this! Woohooo....


bongkersz said...

patrick, maybe can try out for the villian roles? :P hahaha! can ask to include your famous 'niamah' line into the drama lah! haha!

Cuddly Family said...

Those two politicians.. aiyoo.. look so cocky, today's star also says that sharir even defended the jasin MP guy, he; s"just a malay bizmen trying to survive"... oh.. I see... so "close one eye" oklah? I forget where I read that it had said the fight against corruption etc starts with YOU. don't pay the flers to close one eye, dont do the under the counter thing.. dunno...

Im cranky this morning and apalagi read this.. what lah see my own state assembly macam "one minute I bankrupt, next minute sudah ok", incredibly fast stay of execution don't u think? Dr Koh says he's got to investigate.. in case he's "slandered the state's UMno branch".. He's slandered the branch? U mean being a bankrupt, holding public office despite the rules stating otherwise etc isn't already slandering it? (ok slandering may not be the right term)..

kepala pening leh..

xullgrimlust said...

kenapa diaorang nie suka buat jokes?tak kelakar langsung!!!tarak kerja lain ke?buat drama you must be joking!!!

Anonymous said...

now we know why we have not heard as to whether the ACA has started investigations/interview the Mr. Close one eye MP....they are too busy preparing for their dramas!!

BabyBear said...

in the works...The TimberMan...will the 'hero' be able to make his escape? in real life, of course, boleh la but since the film censorship board has strict rules about not letting the villain get away with the loot/murder, it'd be interesting to see what kinda ending ACA gives it. to paint the truth or to give it a fantasy 'caught and put behind bar' ending? hmmmmmm.....

patrickteoh said...

ya it would indeed be funny if they called me in to audition for a role in an ACA docu-drama. Won't happen.

c-fu, you want Niamah go here...

It's free!

C-Fu said...

where got "niamah you dont tokkok ar" :(

RHB said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

produce drama? they all memang dah berdrama dah pun.....all the way.....tak tau la apa nak jadi next!