Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Half a day at the balai polis

CEPAT? Not really la.

It's true! The staff at balai polis these days do provide service with a smile. I had a first hand experience this morning when I went to lodge a police report against a neighbour whom I believed was posing a great physical danger to my young children. Here is my account of my experience.

12 noon

I arrive at the Balai Polis Taman Melawati thinking that since I live in Ulu Klang that was the balai for me. I was told this by some lawyer who, when I remember his name, I shall go kick him in the nuts. When I walked through the door of the balai I was greeted by smiling officers, one corporal, one lance corporal and 2 constables who invited me to make myself comfortable while they attended to preceding report makers first. The office was air-conditioned although it still looked like a typical Malaysian government department mess.

Prior to my arrival at the balai i I had typed out my report at home and printed it out. I thought this would save some time for myself and some grief for the officer who would most probably be computer/keyboard challenged.

When my turn came I handed my printed account of the incident to the constable who immediately grimaced when he realised that it was in English. He took great pains to read what I had written in plain and very simple English. I know because he was reading my writing aloud one word at a time. After some 3 or 4 lines the corporal advised, "Bagi la Encik Patrick. Dia boleh type sendiri kan?" Okay. Sure. The P.C. (the one in uniform not the one on the desk) turned the monitor to face me and surrendered his keyboard. I proceeded to re-type what I had already done at home. They cannot accept that you see. They have to enter the report into their system. Scanning and all I presumed was a 'tak boleh'. When I was almost through typing the monitor screen blinked once and all my words disappeared from the screen into cyberspace. This caused the corporal to burst into raucous laughter. Though not aimed to make fun of me. He said that this kind of thing sometimes happens and instructed me to type the whole thing all over again. I did and finally managed to finish my report.

The P.C. took back control of his p.c. and proceeded with another attempt to read my report. He gave up halfway through the first paragraph and hit the print button. Printed two copies of the report and handed one to the lance corporal behind him who then went into another room and returned minutes later with a photostated copy and a receipt which she handed to me and politely requested, "Dua Ringgit." I paid and became increasing confused as to where the whole exercise was going to take me.

That was when the corporal, an older, slightly overweight jolly gent informed me that there is a balai that's closer to where I live. Oh really? Thanks. And by the way, that's where you should go next time you have something to report that happened in the area where you live because that's their jurisdiction.

What???!!! You mean I have to....Yes you have to go over there and do it all over again. Why? Because the I.O. (investigating officer is there ma) What the...!!! But okay la at least the flers at Balai Polis Tmn. Melawati were pleasant and parking was a breeze.

12.50 p.m.

I arrive at the balai polis in AU (which stands for Ampang Ulu Klang as I found out after 6 years of living in the area).

Big balai. New. Fresh paint. Air-con. Smiling officers at the reception desk. I was guided to the first floor where I met the I.O. a young inspector who was clearly not having the best of days. He had the flu and to make his day he was nursing a toothache too. Anyway, back to the story...

He invited me into his office. Took one look at the copy of my report and didn't even bother trying to read English and asked me to verbally explain to him what happened. I did and he listened intently. When I had finished. He was quiet for a moment and turned to his p.c. (the one on his desk not the one in uniform), stared at the monitor for a moment and then asked me to repeat what I had told him for the past 5 minutes! Sigh. I did. He typed. What I don't know.
Another 5 minutes of regurgitating the story later he turned to me and began to ask me a series of questions the answers to which were in what I had been telling him for the past 10 minutes! But I focussed on the smiling officers, the air-conditioning and the easy parking and how the current IGP has been trying to make a difference and did as he requested. As I spoke he poked at the keys of the p.c. and proceeded to type my narration into his computer. Unfortunately, the good inspector was one of those slothly one finger typists. 20 minutes later he was done. He asked if I had anything to add. I said no and he hit the print button. He gave me the printed statement and asked me to read it before signing it. That was when I discovered that he had left out a crucial part of my report. Oh.

He asked me what he had left out. I told him and he began typing again. Very slowly. After 10 minutes I impatiently asked him if he was typing the whole thing again or just my addendum. He replied the former. Huh???!!! Why la dei? System is like that. Once saved cannot alter. Must type new one. Okay. Another 20 minutes. All done. Print. Check. Everything there. Thank you.

Now, what happens ah, encik? I will speak to my superior officer and then we will decide what to do about your complaint. What???!!!

As I was leaving his office the young inspector did offer a piece of advice. Move out from my apartment to avert any future dangers to my children and family. Well, thank you very much mister investigating officer inspector with the flu and toothache. You have a nice day too..

2.38 pm

I drove out of the free parking lot of the Balai Polis AU.

So after almost 3 hours I was nowhere close to resolving my problem. But the parking was easy and the rooms were cool. Thank you.


YASMIN said...

haha!! My maid was victim of bagsnatcher on Sunday and I had SAME experience with a 2 finger typist then being told to go to another Balai for statement,but AFTER medical checkup at govt hospital - after waiting 35 mins and realising that not a single number had moved, found out there were 2 doctors for entire emergency dept,the 'real' emergencies being full! So considered 1st report good enough for her to get new passport and went to lunch!! Big kiss by the way!

Anonymous said...

Good luck Pat. Good Luck. That's the end of the story. No further action.

Why? They will say its just well your personal problem with your neighbour. No concern of theirs. Sort it out yourselves. Case closed.

Aaaaaah. The aircon. 50% increase in pay. Time to think of wife number 2 or 3 or 4.

Cheeky_me said...

Niamah!! That's what I can say after reading the post man

ska said...

yea yea.. complaint here complaint there.. but still, it wont solve laa this civil servant attitude.. gaji naik pon still like that..what to do eh?

p/s : i am civil servant too..but i used to work in private sector so i can compare my previous and present work ambience..

adriana said...

my friend advise me that when you arrived at balai, asked whether the area are under their jurisdiction. if yes,you go ahead with your report. if it's a no, ask them where to go to.

if not,you might spent fruitless effort the whole day.

WilZC said...

life is beautiful..!!!
lovely lovely malaysia...
curious though.. whyz ur neighbour posing threats 2 the children???

Anonymous said...

great patience you have, just half way reading your first balai visit, i quit. how the heck you manage to go all the way through. haha

resaksekatak said...

hokhohkhohkok! still "normal them" -ah!? good!

Gaspode said...

You'd think this would be better anywhere else in the world wouldn't you ? but it isn't, just ask anyone. Sometimes it's worse. Seriously though, Malay is is the official language. Guess if you wanted to report something in Malay at an American police station... :)

sherrina said...

I hope I will not have to deal with police throughout my life. It seems so hard just to handle such a simple case.

Travelkaki said...

Patrick, although I am not a Malay, I have to say that we should write our reports in Malay as much as we can. After all, it is the official language right?

But in all fairness, and for the info to my Malay friends, sometimes we tend to use English because if it is important (say a legal document) the wording and phrasing becomes very important and we use English to avoid tripping over (potentially costly) mistakes.

But if it's a police report, I encourage all of us to make an effort to do it in BM.

Anonymous said...

It is exactly this 'use only Bahasa Malaysia' attitude that's created a whole generation of dysfunctional graduates (the #1 reason why graduates from Malsyai institutions can't get a job in the private sector is due to their inability to communicate in the English language). How to compete in the global environment like this?

And yes police stations in other countries, even one as advanced as the Great Britain, is not much better. This I found out first hand. But at last you can relate your complain in English in a British police station.

Whether YOU can understand the English spoken by the Bobby attending to you, is another matter altogether...LOL!

ipoh mari said...

Dear Patrick,
I was robbed with 18" knife point at Wangsa Maju sek5,right infornt of a surau.
I went to make a report at the nearest station...same thing like you said lah, but except I have to type the report my self.Then, they told me to go to Sentul station to see the officer incharge..ok, without my wallet,no $2 to pay for the report and no driving licence n ID,and no idea where is Sentul, ( I Ipoh mari mah)..but okloh, being a good citizen, have to do your duty to report a crime loh..
Then, the officer at the station took 10min. to read a very short report,while I was still in shock,shivering under the air con., he then asked me what do I want Him to DO ??
I told Him that I hope you sent ronda at my area,hoping no more victim.
Then, I got fine $70 for loosing ID 3rd time,( 2x pick pocketed),renew driving license $20,Maybank card $10,Digi replaced my SIM card FREE...
Thank GOD you don't have to face this B...C...!

Have a good day!

hasz_rushley said...

sabar patrick..
i was expereienced the same thing few yrs ago, during my studying at perak..
hmm i wonder.. when will this scenario gonna be change.. yrs after yrs, they have all the increment, but still in the 'old shoes'..

Anonymous said...

Bull-shish DiRanja Malassia!

Patrick, yesterday I was at the Shangri-La. Then I saw a group of gomen officers gossiping. These officials were smoking kretek in the toilet with their over-sized heavy coat with their name tags on their chest!

Tokking about your two finger typists compared to the men in heavy coats smoking kretek in the toilet.

They are really malassia and do bull-shish work!

mantoi said...

Same here Patrick, somebody broke into my house & stole 3 Handphone , 1 camera & cash Rm1,030 .. My house at Pinggiran Batu Caves.. so I went to Balai Polis Selayang which at the same building with IPD Gombak. After the 2 finger typing and smell of smoke from somebody behind the counter smoking .. I need to go to Balai Polis Gombak at Jln Gombak because the IO "malas" to come to BP Selayang ... Luckly I ride a motorbike if not sure 1 hour more wasted on the road.

arief said...

those report we made only meant for them to gather/collect statistic. nothing more. they will do nothing as to solve our problem. at most they can say is, "kami akan tingkatkan rondaan ke kawasan encik". but the next day, u wont see any peningkatan of rondaan pun! my residential area now; kami hidup in ketakutan. too many crime. PDRM sucks big time man.

fargo said...


I live in melawati and im not sure if you are refering to the same "slightly overweight" corporal, but if it is, i have to say 'slightly' is an extremely polite way of putting it.

LA My Home said...

yup, i've seen many many 1 finger typing police officers back in Malaysia. at times i felt why don't you let me type it. so geram to see them so slow with the keyboard. *sigh*

Anonymous said...

how can they increase the retirement to age 60...does that mean we have to deal with these bunch of a**holes for an additional 5 years?

Vigalante said...

its times like this when some citizens like myself decide to take laws into our own hands. yes, they tell us not to do it, and yes they say we shouldnt do it, but if the lives of our family is at stake, and the police are imcompetent, what else does a man do?
we cannot sit and wait for something bad to happen.

Anonymous said...

RM2 is bullshit, duit kopi ka????

Radhasanthiya.. said...

This is nothin new. And Nothin done too.
Wat can we do? Next time, type in Malay, take hard copy to make their life 'easier'. Tho even in Malay they dont really read it the reports thru. Then they will send IO again to query u and evaluate the state of UR mind. And then they might hint that ur at fault and try to close casee. Send letter to IGP, if no action taken, works sometimes. sometimes not. There's service with a smile for u! Yea, at least its air con and parkin free. ! So lets smile and bear the shit!

Stargazer said...

Pat, Government doesnt change, only people who work for it has changed. All those u commented has been in existence since our government was formed. Bear the shit.

Anonymous said...

Well, I did made a police report years back about a mad woman who trail me and threaten to "do something" towards me because she thought i'm chasing after her husband.
I went with the police station with my then boyfriend, and few days later, my bf was doing a follow up because the woman is getting more violent.
U know what did the chief in one of the balai said " Alaa..u bagitau you punya kawan jangan kacau suami orang lah"
Aiyoh..they don't even check the root of our problems, and the fact that I don't even date her husband before left me fuming mad. What more to take action against the report. Yes, it might be small case for them but do they have to wait until the mad woman throw acid or send some gangster to kill me, then only these police will look for justice ?

Nahh... I never trust them anymore, although I must admit, I still have shivers everytime I see traffic polices ..:-P

cemerlang, gemilang, terbilang said...

Cepat, betul, mesra.
Betul, mesra, cepat.
Mesra, cepat, betul.
Time to bersihkan the kotor PDRM.
How to be professional if only know how to speak in Melayu only ?
How to be professional when so many bureaucracy and red tape ?
How to be professional when always have to ask the boss ?
Patrick, you should have brought along a big flask of hot kopi.

raspberry said...

My boy friend work at ktv every night because he need money for further study.. the police from Bukit Aman go to the ktv and check for who have ate pill.. and my boy friend never touch this kind of thing.. and his urine result was negative.. but he still lock up by the police WITHOUT REASON ..According to the red book that published by the Malaysian Bar said that police cannot arrest someone without reason and cannot detend who is, The red book is cannot protect our right!Police still can arrest someone who was a witness n who is no do any wrong without reason.. WHAT IS OUR RIGHT ?? the police station apply the remand order just to detend the witness for only taking statement .. !! According to the red book ..the police cannot arrest someone without reason n also they cannot use the remand order to detend the person for only taking statement ... the police is from Kajang police station and the inspector in charge was INSPECTOR AZMAN !! what the red book write to protect our right is nonsense..!!RED BOOK CANT DO ANYTHING EVEN IT IS A LAW ... DO YOU KNOW WHO IS THE LAW...the answer is " POLICE"

Anonymous said...

u also damn stupid (not that I'm siding PDRM).

1st, How can u submit yr report printed on yr normal A4 paper?? Naturally, they would hv to retype and reprint on PRDM letterhead. U expect all the 'report takers' to go through secretariat (speedy typist) course meh?

Then 2nd mistake... NIAMAH, in 'engrish' somemore. Let me ask u, when u enter the police station, what language did u use, I bet its not english, cos I know (for a fact) none of the constable at the reception speak that language.

3rd, why didn't u copy the text and put it in a diskette?

Sad but true, sometimes when dealing with certain dept., we hv to lower our standards to accommodate them, communicate with them, just so they understand.

Oh ya... like what the rest says, YOUR CASE CLOSES AS SOON AS U LEAVE THE STATION... hahahaha.

Homan said...

This is a brilliant attempt by the government to cut down on crime statistics.

People get fed up with the idiotic experiences at police stations, they don't even bother to report.

Then, crime statistics go down. said...

kehkehkeh.. pity u la unc. patrick..

i had an incident years ago in melawati. i left my car key in the kedai biskut opposite the balai. i only realized it after i had my dinner. since the kedai closed oredi, i rushed to the balai hoping that they have a phone list for all the shops' owners. the respond i received was: "itu senang saja, mana kereta kamu" he asked, with a long plastic ruler. i asked what he wants to do with the ruler. he said "bukak kereta kamu lah". completely buduh punya officer. even if he could open my pintu kereta, how am i suppose to drive back without my kunci kereta? rite?

Zhuang Tze (庄子) said...

If you, an educated person ,has so much difficulties in making a simple report,what do you expect those uneducated people would do?

Give up lahhhhhh......

chronicleist said...

Not only does this happen in most goverment department, it happens in our schools too.

I had to get some letters from my school last year and they had to be in English. Knowing them, their english and their typing, I decided to type the entire letter and print it out so that when I get there, all they needed to do was sign the freaking thing.

But NO, they had to type the entire bloody letter out again so "ada letter-head dan nama sekolah kat atas". And so the office clerk went off to do that. 30 minutes later, she came out with a copy of the letter(with letter head and nama sekolah, thank you.) Might I also add, the letter takes an average human not more than 2 minutes to type out.

I was sitting there going thank god she's finally done. But when I was given a copy to "check betul tak? Lagi ada apa nak tambah?", the stupid letter was 2 lightyears away from the orignal copy. I offered to retype it for her but was not allowed to enter their ultra private and confidential office. And so, she dissapeared for another 30 minutes.

The next time she came out, it STILL wasn't right but I couldn't be bothered anymore and went along with the shity English(if you would even call it that)copy of the letter.

People, this is a school. I malu to say I'm from that school. Lagi dare to put "letter-head dan nama sekolah kat atas". Freaking disgraceful.

sharonlili said...

Thats so similar to my 4 experiences at the Puchong Balai Police. You see, I have a stalker thats been doing all kinds of insanity to my car and my house for the past 9 months and I've made 4 reports and met all the I.O. in that Balai and yet guess what they said to me? "Oh, he didn't threaten or harmed you yet so we cna't do anything. if got trouble, call us". What the F rite? And yes, they said the same thing too "move out la". It's ridiculous. The local police prefer to see civilians harmed rather than safe. We live in a truly sad country who doesnt care about the people but their own pockets. If anyone know this person (my stalker), please let me know ya: Lee Chin Han 017-2776876. Since the authorities refused to help me, I gotta depend on any good souls out thr I guess. My contact:

Faisal Admar said...


I faced the same problem too. It happen at Balai Polis Bayan Lepas, Penang. Got 2 incidents that really pissed me off :

1. My friend's house in Bayan Lepas [a flat] broke in but nothing missing or stolen. We went to that police station to make a report and we got a weird reply "Tak ada apa hilang? Jadi mau report buat apa?". I was so mad and almost reply back in higher tone. My friend calm me down, and I replied "Can I make a report or else I will go to other station?". Then they took our report with an annoying grin. Can you imagine, the door was broken and he couldn't even lock the door to sleep that night.

2. Online game hacking. I was a big fan of Ragnarok and few years back I got hacked. So, in order to make Gameflier [the game company] take further action such as ban the players, log in into Korean server [which I was confuse, can't Malaysia has our own server?] and also the worst pass the case to police... i need a police report. So, right after work... I went to the same police station [yeah bad thing I live in that area and I only can make a report there] to make a report. Again, what I got was a big laugh from the police men and woman [2 guys and 1 woman] there. They said, "Game pun mau report ka?" and I replied "Saya kehilangan barangan virtual sebanyak RM3k dan awak masih boleh ketawa?". The woman was mad at me and replied harshly "Tau la game! Playstation ka, CD ka, computer kat rumah ka???" and I replied "Virtual item tu bukan barangan yang boleh dipegang... semua tu dalam game di mana barang2 tu boleh disimpan di dalam gudang game... dan barangan tu lagi mahal dari handphone cik...". She had a frown on her face and the guy started to type my report.

And yes... I had to tell him 3 times just because the system down and couldn't send. I was totally pissed off that day.

Anonymous said...

Another defamation sue in the making. This will be the first Malaysian taken to court for libel charges just because he made a Genuine Consumer Complaint on the Internet. Should we keep quite from being bullied by the rich and powerful? Is it right to use the law to muzzle a consumer in grievance? Read more here and original complaint at

Anonymous said...

I have zero respect for Police Diraja Malaysia, bunch of useless corrupt cops is all they are. However, there are worst police in the region, Thai Police are no better and of course the ultimate gutter police are the Indonesian police. One night my taxi was stopped and the police asked me for ID, I showed them my ID and then the Police wants to see my passport. I had my hotel card and keys and told the corrupted bastard Indonesian police man that it is kept in the hotel. He tried to arrest me and then tells me he could let me of the hook for 200,000.00 ruppiahs. Sadly except for Singapore Police all of Asean police are corrupted.

Anonymous said...

Haha i faced the same experience too at Balai Polis Jalan Ipoh, though its just about the missing laptops in my office, it took 2hours for only 'REPORT SUBMISSION', that didnt include the discussion with the top officer & the investigations. ANd yes i need to pay rm0.50 for the copy photostated! what the _)(*&

Anonymous said...

dear patrick, love reading ur blog. i believe what our government lack is simple common sense. the country now is in political chaos. and the worst part is tht no one seem to knw what they can be doing to make help things towards the right direction since our whole government is based on pseudo-monachy ruling...the bigger fist is always right.

your balai police experience is so common. my car was hit and damaged by a drunk lorry driver during traffice jam. went to the nearest police station in damansara uptown to report my case...after 1 hours of wasting my time, they refuse to take my case as they consider the nearest balai to the case is in petaling street. they smilingly advise me to go through the jam to report to tht particular balai.

what is our country coming to?

patrick, im not sure if anything can be done abt things. but i see you as a popular figure, if ever u find a bright idea as to what regular malaysian like me can do, pls do contact me at


fellow michaelian

Anonymous said...

Dear Patrick,

I can still remember very clearly my police report.

I lost my motorbike ekzos pipe in 1986 inside my school compound, when i was form four student.

Someone told me , he saw one form five student stole it. I reported to my school discipline teacher and he advised me to make a police report. He wasvery disappointed with this student ( hopeless).

I followed his advice and went ahead.

If I would have known that was the whole system of making police report and also the result you are getting. I think no one will go to make police report.

I have wasted the whole afternoon, going up and down from one department to another department, from one officer to another officer, asking questions , question, same question, explain how many times, i cannot remember. Have to bring them to the scene, explain again.

The worst part was, I told them, I am very very hungry , now three o'clock, now four o'clock, now six o'clock. Until I said , " Tak mau report lah" . Saya mau balik makan nasi."

That also cannot, sudah buat laporan , kena tunggu sampai siap.

The final result was. Ok siap. Sekarang boleh pulang.

So!!!. That is.

When can I get my ekzos pipe.

Balik suruh bapak , abang beli yang baru.

Sometime, I wonder, do I need to make police report, why do we make police report. For what???

Unless , it is necccessary. Otherwise, forget about making police report.

nurulshima said...

yup2..definitely d symbol tu n their peeps tak 'cepat'

miketan C K said...

Some time last year I went to the post office at Subang Jaya Carrefore to renew my road tax.I was told by the clerk that JPJ has blocked my account and I should do it at JPJ.At JPJ Padang Jawa,the counter clerk referred me to the traffic police counter at the complex.After retrieving my car's particulars the policeman told me my car has been blacklisted and I should proceed to Subang Jaya Police station to sort thing out.

I rushed to Subang Jaya Police station only to be told that PJ Police station is the right balai.
The sky was getting dark and threaten to rain.It started to pour when I arrived at PJ traffic branch.There was no parking lots available at the balai and I had to go a few rounds at the shop lots opposite.I was almost drenched
when I get to see the traffic policeman at the counter.Guess what?I was told it is the criminal branch that blocked me and I was directed the the CID office few blocks away.I was already fuming and cold.The last straw was when the CID guy said my case is under the jurisdiction of the IO at Seri Kembangan and I should see him there.That's enough for the day and I drove straight home.

Lucky me my father in law was ex police officer and through his contact the problem was solved 1 week later.Meanwhile I can't used the car for 1 week as advised. And guess what was the problem? Some one reported his Proton Wira(mine was Satria)stolen and the number was the same as my car.A F.U police typo error
by the police. NIAMAH!

Brenda Ang said...

Hahahahahaha, so damn funny :)) Lol. Experienced it before.

Anonymous said...

pleasant or unpleasant, the police dept reeks of inefficiency, and at the end of it all, really it's just pointless, u get nowhere close to a solution.

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