Thursday, June 15, 2006

Smells Fishy

(Adam: You sure or not???)

I looked past the glassy eye of the dead kembong fish to the piece of the New Straits Times it was lying on. Pak Lah’s photo. Now, say what you like the guy has a great photo image. The Prime Minister la not the dead fish. Can’t tell the difference issit? Ya, Pak Lah is photogenic, the most so of all our PM’s I’d say. Great, “sincere” smile. Makes you want to look at him. Makes you want to see/read/hear/listen to what he has to say. But of course when you do he doesn’t really say anything worth shit la. But that’s a different story.

Last Tuesday’s NST front page screamed “Answers: Government to explain to the people”. Cool, I thought. Finally we’re going to get to the bottom of things. The real story. The Expose.

Turned out I was just hallucinating because my morning coffee had No sugar and too much caffeine. On the left of Pak Lah’s photo the story revealed that the government was going to kill off allegations made by the ex-PM. Good. But it goes on to say that these explanations may or may not be a tell-all read. Huh? How can explanations NOT tell all. Tell half ah? And then?

Wait, there’s more laughs coming. Apparently, our dear PM with the great smile told the MP’s and senators that “he did not want anyone hurt in the process”. And it went on to say that several of the MP’s took that to mean that the PM did not want Dr. Mahathir’s image dented. My initial reaction to reading that bit was, “What the F***K???!!!” Did not want anyone hurt? Did not want an image dented? Hello! The lights are on but is anyone home? As a simple, tax-paying, law-abiding citizen of Bolehland I could care less about dented images and hurt feelings. All I want is the truth and justice to be done. Is that too much to ask? And while we’re at it what about our very dented image as the laughing stock of the global stage? Maybe some attention should be paid to repairing that since we’re so concerned about images.

Okay la, that part of Tuesday’s NST front page irritated me but the last paragraph of the front page story really pissed me off la.

“Datuk Mohd. Said Yusof (Jasin) said: “At no point did he lose his cool and or start accusing anyone. He said the Government must show Malaysians that we are transparent.”

Remember this Datuk? Yup, he’s the ‘close one eye’ fler. He’s still there. He is now telling you and I about being transparent! I almost choked on my sugar-LESS coffee.

What happened to his case? Does anyone know? Does anyone remember? Does anyone care? I guess not.

I used Pah Lah’s page to consign the dead kembong to its icy crypt.

Then I read the wrappings for the vegetables.

And I am glad I did because on page 4 of last Tuesday’s NST there is a photo of that “one-eyed” MP from Jasin. This time with this laughable quote on the Mahathir/Pak Lah battle…

“All the MP’s are happy with Pak Lah. We offered to explain to the rakyat because if Pak Lah did it, he would be accused of being biased”

Yeah right! And when YOU do it we might think you’re LYING?

Is it just me or is it the general feeling of distrust and scepticism whenever we hear or read of utterances by our politicians? I mean, there used to be this kind of trust:…oh is it ah? Okay lor. I accept your explanation. But these days…no la.

Recently, there were reports that the fish sold in our markets contained formaldehyde (the stuff they inject into corpses to keep them ‘fresh’. Sorry. Couldn’t resist that.). What???!!! You mean I am embalming myself each time I eat ikan bakar? Chicken got bird flu. Meat is not good for health. And now fish also got problem. Eat what next ah?

But don’t worry …Deputy Health Minister Datuk Dr. Abdul Latiff Ahmad assures us that the formaldehyde level in our fish is at a “permissable level”. I want to believe him but…somehow I can’t la. Not 100% anyway. Sure got something or other not told to us. So that no images will be dented or feelings hurt ma. Get it? And some more don’t have photos of YB’s sitting at a table tucking into plates of fried fish. Sounds fishy.

Excuse me while I transfer Pah Lah and the kembong out of the freezer and into the garbage.


Mohd Noor said...

Alo patrick,
i miss your postings la. i got addicted already.

so many news from bolehland
i am endlessly fascinated by this Jasin MP fellow.
striving for positiveness, i want to register his name for that pirate of the carribean 3 movie la as a pirate extra. eye patch already there, booty = pirated porrrno vids.

he should be a comedian for Senario (TM) lah. im sure he fits in there fine for the so many jokes but no laugh section.

oh ya today in rtm's selamat pagi malaysia, the health authorities are saying that the lack of sugar supply is good and Malaysia should adopt la cut down sugar intake.
yes, they are teaching us to adopt also lah...

i think this year all malaysians will get some tunjuk ajar by a lot of our gomen officials.

Cuddly Family said...

Always change lifestyle.. change lifestyle etc.. but everything else goes up, housing (and lesser quality), air quality, what else?

but.. we are better than Ghana... ;)

Anonymous said...

that jasin mp fella is too much...muka so tebal...tak malu....some more dare to cakap banyak...he should just "closed both his eyes" plus his mouth and curl up and really takes a thick skinned person to be a dishonest politician...but then again....ada ke politician yang honest?????!!!!!! me very sceptical!

ontahsapo said...

that jasin mp ha...i wonder how he managed to be up there lah...

Sugarfree said...

I very much doubt if anything's gonna happen to that Jasin "1-eye closed" fella la. Remember the AP fiasco? No. Don't worry. We'll forget about his 1-eye-closed deal soon enuff. ;-- )

patrickteoh said...

the jasin fler is still there because...
1. like mahathir said, malaysian politicians have lost their sense of shame.
2. his electorate in jasin really love him to bits and he's really done loads of good there.
3. Pak Lah likes his style.
4. He's got the dirt on his cabinet colleagues.
5. Karma. He did something good in his previous life.

Hi cuddlyf. What's going up next? Anything that doesn't have the word quality attached to it will.

hi mohd nor. sure too much sugar isn't good for us and we should cut down. but we are also subsidising big business and our neighbours with our hard earned money. And that cannot la. isnit?

mob1900 said...

Now the secret is out, all the aunties will go and buy formaldehyde-bloated ikan kembongs. Cheap way to look young mar!

Since we're 'short' on everything, we will start to look like Ghanaians.

and Pat, check out the latest news about Trengganu MB selling sugar from lorries, that's what I called a 'SugarDaddy'!

Cuddly Family said...

Anything that has quality in it? hahahhaa Like Pak Lah's 11 summonses that he was not aware that he had.. hmmm.. waaah somebody berani summon a politician's family..

Trying to cook most days for my family (the whole healthier lifestyle, change lifestyle thing) but watching the prices go up (not to mention school fees) they say they want mre parents to be there for their kids leh..

Was telling hubby about the latest news and what's up with PT's blog (he can't access blogspot at work hahaa talk about a nanny state).. was telling him abr Mr Jasin, he was saying that Mr Jasin shld be the 1 lying low...I think he gt the dirt on folks..

Mob1900, hmm, I wouldn't mean being the slimmer part of a Ghanaian but hey.. LOL

Tigrrr said...

Eh, Patrick. Cigarettes also got formaldehyde. So smokers are embalming themselves everytime they take a puff too. ;)

patrickteoh said...

yes tigrrr i know there is formaldehyde in cigarettes. People knowing smoke cigarettes for whatever reasons. But when one eats fish you think you're eating healthy, right? Until now la.

Hahahah...cuddlyfam I think my last comment about prices rising for anything that has a quality suffix or prefix might be misleading. Sorry. Cooking for the family used to be more healthy than eating out. Now, I don't know. So some people say, turn vegetarian lor. Then someone will 'discover' that vegetables have a ultra high level of pesticides etc. Then how? Live on air and sunshine? That one also cannot leh. Air is polluted. Sunshine is controlled by the Indonesians. So how ah?
Okay mob1900, officially Ghana will no longer be used as a comparison to our shitty state from today. Why? they are in the World Cup wor. We are not. So they are better. So now we say we are better than Zimbabwe. Okay people?

Jenn said...

I think Tun is much more handsome.

Anonymous said...

"Permissable level"? On what standards this was based on? Remember some time during the whole stinking water debacle in Klang Valley? A local daily actually engaged an 'expert' to tell us how the water is suitable for home consumption... until someone pointed out that the 'standard' they used were actually for factory waste discharge.

Anonymous said...

So, if the next time you find a fly in your soup, no need to complain. It's still within 'permissable level'.

Anonymous said...

We also cannot say "we are better than Zimbabwe" because they qualify for Rugby World Cup..

Soon we are running out of third-world countries to be better off, at this rate our politicians tokkok